The hardest thing....

I know I haven't posted a blog in quite sometime.....I've been clinging to almost every moment I have with my amazing husband. I even know I have yet to put up cruise and family pictures but I needed to post this first....

I have to say that yesterday was actually one of the hardest days of my life. I originally thought that my womanly independence would make all this deployment stuff easier, but I was way wrong. Ever since I got married, my "independent woman" has slowly let go....which I deem to be a good thing. I have become more dependent on the my husband, the leader of our household and he does such an amazing job fulfilling that role.

God called me to a husband who travels/is gone often a long time ago (high school-crazy I know). Even so, I wasn't ready for last night. I felt like part of me (which is actually the case)left to Iraq last night. Walking inside our house alone never felt so chilling. Certain things of his or certain foods- I don't even want to look at because it reminds me of how much I miss him. Waking up alone is hard, eating alone is hard......a year's worth of this makes it all the more difficult. Knowing that he won't be there for two weddings I'm in next year, my master's graduation, and whatever else comes along.....it'll ruin my smile if I continue to let it.

On the other hand, my husband is called to Iraq to fulfill his mission. God is in control and I know that we will be stronger when he returns. I will let him fight for his country....a sacrifice that I also make for this country. I am proud of him and his courage. I am going to make it through-we are going to make it through this. After all, he owes me a Japanese dinner when he returns.....;)