So many days, especially in most recent days, I think.....woe is me. I don't like to talk about how I'm having such a hard time with Elijah being gone, but it's there. I look on facebook at people who have their spouses with them everyday. I see people out on dates when I'm picking up dinner alone. I see couples sitting together in church. I think, daily, of how nice it would be to have one night with Elijah.....and all these thoughts.....it can get me down most days. Sometimes, I get so caught up in how bad I think I have it.....but really, I have it so good.
Last night, God showed me something that humbled me so much. I've been tearing up ever since....I even cry as I write. My girlfriends and I decided to go to dinner in downtown Savannah. We stopped at this place of entertainment (It's a piano restaurant)......There is two big pianos, two guys, and many different songs played on the piano for hours. After being there for about an hour, this large group of women showed up (about 15 or more). I immediately thought, deployed wives on a night out together- how cool!!! About 10 minutes into their stay, one of the entertainers stops and says...."I'm even prouder to be an American tonight. And with that, I want this big group of women down in front to come up on stage. I have something special I want to do." The 15+ women proceeded to the stage and spread out all across it, some were already crying. The entertainer says, "You are looking at a group of military widows up here." He started to play "Proud to be an American"......everyone in that place was crying/standing and the women on stage....oh, those women.....I can't imagine what they have gone through. They were singing and crying on each other's shoulders. It was hard to watch actually.
What a humbling thing to witness real-life women who have lost their spouses from war. I could see that some were so broken and some looked like they had it all together. Turns out, their husbands were all killed in Afghanistan and.......most of them had tattooed wedding bands on their hands- which was all cool to see. I starred at them the rest of the night. We actually talked to some of them and found out that they were just so happy to be surrounded by such great girlfriends (fellow widows). But these women had each other and that was such an encouragement to see the women wrap their arms around each other.....understanding what each fellow widow was going through and still find it in them to enjoy life. It made me proud of those women and thankful to be there to witness that moment. Even still, they will never get the chance to date their spouse, go to dinner, spend one night with them, or even do anything. My girlfriends and I talked about it all night.....and I'm still so humbled today. God knew I needed to see that.
Not only am I learning patience, but I am learning the beauty of contentment. That moment reminded me of my need to be content that Elijah is alive and well......and that God's got him in His hands. After all, I get to talk to my husband often and see him on Skype. It's not woe is me, it's HUMBLED IS ME.
Well said my sister. You made me cry too. I miss you and hope to see your beautiful face soon!
ReplyDeleteWow. That's awesome. It makes me feel even more blessed to have Luke. My gut went into knots thinking of how they deal with not having their best friends anymore.
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing post! Although I was not at the Savannah get-away, I am part of the American Widow Project and find so much comfort from my friends whenever we are all able to get together. Thank you for sharing your experience here. And thank you for being an army wife, part of a military family, and for your daily sacrafices for all of our freedoms. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a great experience. I've heard some really great things about the AWP. They seems to be a really great organization.
ReplyDeletewhat a great blog i too am apart of the American Widow Project. these group of women are my friends as well and very proud to have them as my friends as well :)<3
ReplyDeleteI read your story and it was refreshing. A dear friend of mine has lost her husband recently while he was on a short tour in Afghanistan, she was only 27 years old and their beauitful baby was only six months old. His name is Cpt. Kyle Comfort, an Army Ranger who believed in every misson he was a part of. His beautiful and graceful wife Brooke Comfort
ReplyDeletehas lost the love of her life. My heart breaks for the husbands and wives left behind. Thank you for your story and I hope you keep blogging. Much Love Gloria
thank you for such a beautiful post. I was one of the women on stage that night, one of the ones who could not hold it together. i was feeling humbled that night by my fiance, ben, who died almost one year ago. humbled by our soul mates who who stood up for something that they believed in. i am shaken to my core because of his death. i will never see life the same way but just trying to put one foot in front of the other. that was a special moment in savannah; an unexpected and surreal feeling. but i knew i was surrounded by a group of women who i wish i never met yet have given me quite a gift.
ReplyDeletei wish you and elijah a lifetime of love
xoox
beth
As a member of AWP, I'm so proud that our girls were able to show you a piece of our lives, and that it made you proud of your marriage, and proud of our girls! We're all proud to be a member of AWP, even though of course none of us want to have to be a part of that family we're so glad we have each other to help. Thank you for the wonderful story, it makes me so proud to be part of such a wonderful group and to know a lot of these ladies!
ReplyDeleteI'm not a member of AWP, but I keep in contact with Tara and Nicki, who are. This is SUCH A BEAUTIFUL story! I'm an Army wife too, and just made it through our 2nd deployment together, his 3rd. I know how trying and frustrating those times can be, but you are so right, we can't let that be the only thing we dwell on - they are gone, for now, but they'll be back someday. It's very humbling to remember that. But I've never felt something more humbling than knowing the story of AWP and the women that are apart of it! (I read all of their stories on the website when my husband deployed the first time.. bad idea if tears weren't what I wanted!) If it's ok with you, I'd like to "follow" you. I don't blog very often, but am going to try to start doing so as much as I can.
ReplyDeleteI was the widow you met in the bathroom and was blessed to share that moment with you. I have thought of you ladies so much in the last week hoping and praying for your soulmates. It took me 5 long years to meet those women and I am so thankful to have them in my life. The AWP has brought a renewed happiness to my life that I wasn't sure would ever exist again. Thank you for sharing that night and this blog with us and the world. You, your husband, and your friends will all be in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to thank you for posting this. A friend of mine shared the link with me after reading my post about my weekend get away with the American Widow Project. It's nice to know that people think of us and that our husband's deaths were not in vain. My husband died in March in Afghanistan, so at 5 months out I was the most recently widowed person that weekend. It was the first time I'd experienced anything like that and I must say that I was humbled as well. I was definitely doing my best to keep it together but I'm not quite sure how successful I really was... lol. Many prayers to your husband on his deployment!
ReplyDeleteWow, what an overwhelming response to this post! I love it! So glad to hear from the ladies above. I'm just curious as to how you found my blog? Thank you for following me on this journey. Love, Meghan
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